A Buddhist monk is visiting New York. His Western host helps him navigate the city and suggests they can save ten minutes by making a complicated subway transfer at Grand Central Station.
So they do it.
They pop out in Central Park… and the monk sits down on a bench.
The host goes, “What are you doing?”
And the monk says, “I thought we should enjoy the ten minutes we saved.”
And I just sat there like… he didn’t hold my hand when he made his point! 😅
Because how often do we do the exact opposite?
We find the hack. We streamline the system. We squeeze the schedule.
And then we immediately fill the space with more.
More tasks. More “quick wins.” More catching up.
More proving we’re not dropping the ball.
And that’s the part that gets me.
Not the busy season itself. Not the full calendar.
It’s that even when we do manage to carve out a little margin, our brains don’t know what to do with it. So we spend it immediately. Like mental load has a gift card that expires in 10 minutes.
Why “Rest” Can Feel Weirdly Stressful
If you’re a mom who is naturally driven, responsible, and used to holding it all together, rest can feel less like relief and more like… vulnerability.
Stillness gives your brain space to bring up everything you’re not doing.
Everything you could be doing.
Everything you’re afraid you’re forgetting.
And if a lot of your identity is tied to being competent, dependable, and on top of things, slowing down can feel like you’re risking something.
So you keep moving.
Not because you love being stressed… but because stopping feels like you’ll fall behind.
The Shift that Changes Everything (Without “Doing Less”)
Here’s the mindset change I’m practicing:
Instead of asking, “How do I get more time?”
I’m asking, “How do I get less noise?”
Because time isn’t always the issue. Mental clutter is.
And when your brain is loud, even a free hour doesn’t feel restful. It just becomes a bigger space to worry in.
So here’s a tiny, practical reset you can do today that doesn’t require a whole life overhaul:
When you catch yourself rushing, pause and ask:
- What’s actually the one thing I need to decide right now?
- What’s the one next step that would make me feel lighter today?
- What am I carrying that I’m allowed to put down?
Even answering those three questions in a notes app can take a situation from “everything feels urgent” to “okay, I know what matters next.”
A Quick Tool for When Your Brain Feels Like 47 Open Tabs
If you want help doing that in a simple, guided way, I made a free resource called:
5 Minutes to a Lighter Mental Load: a Decision Filter
It’s designed for the days when you’re stuck, overwhelmed, or spinning and you just need a clear starting point.
Inside, you’ll:
- Walk through a short guided process that helps you see what’s actually taking up space in your head
- Learn a simple way to sort through the noise so you can spot what truly matters right now (and what doesn’t)
- Finish with one clear, doable next step that takes less than ten minutes so you can feel lighter before the day even ends
And Then Do the Monk Thing
This is your reminder that the goal isn’t to become a more efficient machine.
The goal is to create breathing room… and actually live inside it.
So if you save ten minutes today, try this:
Sit down. Take a sip. Feel your shoulders drop.
No productivity tax required.
So tell me… when you “save time,” do you get to enjoy it?
Or do you automatically fill it with more?
