Engagement: It’s Not Just a Countdown

Engagement – sometimes it’s the slow-moving period between dating and marriage. Are you feeling the drag? If you are, you’re not alone. We felt it too. It went from hype to impatience and nervousness fast. The parties and planning were fun, but after a month or two, we found ourselves wishing we could go ahead and get married already.

Thankfully, we had loved ones who reminded us of the most important purpose of the engagement period: to build a strong foundation for marriage. So, that’s what we chose to focus on, especially in the times of lull.

Believe us, we didn’t have the perfect engagement. We don’t have the perfect marriage either (you should hear some of our silly arguments), but we’re humbly sharing what may also benefit your soon-to-be marriage.

Keep investing in each other.

It’s easy to be consumed by all-things-wedding. Keep dating. When you’re on those dates, keep your conversation about more than just wedding planning. We had “time-out dates,” where we just didn’t go there.

Start forming good marital habits.

“Practice makes perfect, and there’s no time like the present.” We hear this all the time, but it’s so true. Are you wanting to have date nights once a week, have devotionals daily, or be workout buddies three times a week? Start practicing!

Have the hard conversations.

Spirituality/faith, finances, family planning, in-laws, how to handle conflict, sexual expectations, boundaries, work-life balance, etc. Your palms sweaty yet? These are hard conversations, but have them. Remember, differences can be magnified in marriage. Give yourself the upper hand by finding out where you differ and discuss how it’s going to be handled.

Be honest.

Engagement is still a time of discernment for both you and your fiancé. Don’t ignore your gut or red flags. We’ll leave it as simple as that.

Engage in premarital counseling.

There’s nothing voodoo about counseling. It’s hard to navigate the hard conversations we mentioned earlier, especially when you and your fiancé disagree. Your counselor can HELP you have the hard conversations we mentioned earlier. Just remember, counseling is like dating, it’s important to find the right fit. If it’s not, it’ll be that much harder to have the hard conversations. Take your time getting to know your counselor. Most counselors will provide a free consultation just to do that!

We hope that this helps you and your fiancé feel a little less anxious, and a little more purposeful. Be intentional with your engagement. There’s so much life to live in your future, do the work to make sure it’s a happy one!

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