Thoughts about Staying Home Full-time
Staying at home full-time with Beckett is such a blessing, and it’s something Jimmy and I have worked hard for. But I wouldn’t be painting the whole picture if I didn’t also mention that I often feel restless, bored, unproductive, and frustrated too. Leaving the traditional work environment and having needy child with me at all times has been one of the toughest transitions of my life!
I thought I’d be this Pinterest-worthy mom who had a calendar full of unique crafts and activities. There was no pressure to be this way. I knew I’d genuinely enjoy doing those types of things with my children. (I used to want to be a Play Therapist after all!) Then, came the severe sleep deprivation, Beckett’s medical problems, minimal local family support, postpartum depression/anxiety, job transitions, selling/buying homes, my father’s stroke, and so on. All that equated one burnt out, frustrated Mommy who survives from wake-up to bedtime. This became a Mommy I didn’t ever think I’d be, nor want to be.
Now, I hope this doesn’t give you the wrong idea. I know that I’m a great Mommy! Beckett’s thriving, and he’s my little buddy! Really, saying we stay at home full-time is misleading, ha! We get out of the house every day to see friends, go to the park, walk, go to the aquarium, etc. We also have downtime at home reading books, dancing, coloring, playing chase, etc. I guess I didn’t expect Satan to battle so hard for our joy and ability to be fully present during these seasons with Beckett. It’s frustrating. I know a lot of other parents feel similarly too.
Because of those struggles, I get really excited when I have wins with Beckett. They probably happen far more than I realize. Recently, Beckett’s been sleeping through the night again. So, I’ve felt a tiny bit more energy and mental clarity, which has allowed me to be a bit more creative with our activities. Yay!
I’d like to celebrate some of these wins with you, but in no way do I want these types of posts to become a source of comparison for other parents. So, I hope the beginning of this posts shared what my reality is nearly all of the time. I just want to cheer each other on through our journeys! 🙂
A Fun Recent Activity
A few weeks ago I made a simple rice bin for Beckett. We were in the midst of “No Spend February,” so I had to use what we already had. Thank goodness that toddler’s little minds don’t need much to have some creative fun! I knew I wanted different textures, functional uses, and sizes. I didn’t want to include too many things to overwhelm him and limit free play.
So, I grabbed a few random things around the house. He likes to scoop and dump right now, so I grabbed a measuring cup and bowl. These ended up being the only two things he played with, ha! He also only ended up playing with the bin itself for all of two minutes. After that, he would just dump fist-fulls of rice into our landscaping, which lasted about 10 minutes. I’m glad I didn’t spend too much time on this activity, ha!
We’ll do this activity again, I’m sure. Maybe the next time he’ll actually make it out of his pajamas by late afternoon. Balance for the stay-at-home-full-time life, right? 🙂